Metal Gear Solid: The Really Solid Snake
by IWasHighWhenIWroteThis
Summary: Snake and Quiet find themselves on a series of missions alone...
1. CH01: Not So Quiet Part I

**:**

 **THE REALLY SOLID SNAKE**

 **-CHAPTER ONE-**

 **Not So Quiet, PART I**

The roaring engine of the helicoptor drowned out any conversation that may have been had. Not that there really could be with a companion like Quiet. Thought she held a high resentment for his kind, after all they had been through together, Snake felt a strong bond with his female aquaintence and partner. The small metal carriage suddenly lurched down, causing Quiets frayed leather seatbelt to snap, sending her tumbling across the enclosed space, causing her skimpy clothing to come undone, not that it covered much anyway. Quiet's chest landed square on Snake's face, bra open and all. Shocked at what had happened, he had no time to react, nor would he have known how to, before he felt her dainty but skilled sniper hands pushing back against him as leverage to get to her feat. It wasn't the first time Snake had seen her unclothed, but it was certainly in a more personal circumstance, being stuck together in the small compartment of the aircraft. He couldn't help but blush.

"I, uh" Snake started, "I'm sorry?".

Quiet seemed to pay no mind to what had transpired. She definetly wasn't shy when it came to her physique, nor did she have any reason to be. Frankly, for want of a better word, she was smoking. To make matters more uncomfortable, she started smiling at Snake and looking him right in the eyes as if nothing had happened.

Finally the helicoptor began a speedy descent onto the platform of the motherbase. Snake was relieved to finally get some breathing room, especially after the akward encounter, well, akward for him anyway. He couldn't get the feeling of her plump bussoms on his face out of his mind. It felt wrong to think of such things, but he couldn't help it. What is wrong with me? He thought to himself, it was an accident, she didn't mean anything by it, I doubt she understood the significance of such a gesture.

Later, Snake found himself walking down one of the many winding halls of the motherbase, attempting to locate one of the elusive bathrooms onboard. Though he had never actually managed to find one and usually ended up hanging his ass out a window and dropping his food babies into the ocean below, he had heard many fables that they existed somewhere onboard and frankly it would be a nice change to use an actual toilet. After having no luck and going through his usual shameful routine, of which he was too embarrassed to rectify, Snake was making his way back to the main decks. To his dismay, he saw Quiet making her way towrds him from the end of the hall. He had been trying his best to avoid contact with her all day, still unable to shake his lustful thoughts. There was no mistaking it. She wasn't just walking by, she had come for him specifically. She practically ran right into him, grabbing him by the arms and pulling him aside into one of the many small storage places littering the base.

"Q-Quiet!" Snake yelped, "What is the meaning of this?".

Quiet simply pointed right at him, making no other gestures. Is she accusing me of something? Snake thought to himself, Has she finally realised what happened back on the chopper? Neither of these things seemed to be the case, as Quiet made it very clear that she had other plans. She began communicating using military hand signs. It was a crude, minimalistic way of conveying what she had to say, but Snake was well versed in it and had no trouble understanding her.

"You need me for a mission?" He asked.

Quiet nodded her head and began with the rest of her message.

"Just the two of us?" Snake affirmed, "Right now?".

Again she nodded, her ponytail litely bobbing as she made their way to the top deck of the base and boarded yet another helicoptor. Quiet signaled the pilot as to their destination, but Snake was unable to see what she had conveyed to him. He felt as though he were at the mercy of the breeze, a feeling he was not at all unfamilier with.

 _To be continued..._


	2. CH02: Not So Quiet Part II

**THE REALLY SOLID SNAKE**

 **-CHAPTER TWO-**

 **Not So Quiet, PART II**

Snake thrust open the window of the chopper to vent out the fumes from the pilot's crack pipe and the equally nauseating stench of his own gaseous emissions that had flooded the cabin soon after they had taken off. He would never admit it, but Snake hated flying. Through all the years he had spent in this line of work, he was unable to get used to the feeling of being lifted off the ground. The idea made his stomach churn, and as a result his fury was unleashed from within in the form of an invisible cloud that he had always tried his best to dissipate before anyone could notice. They always did of course, but most of the other operatives were far too professional to say anything.

Suddenly, the door seperating the cockpit from the cabin slid open, sending a fresh cloud of fumes from the pilot's pipe into the tight space. Luckily, with the window open, the wind current was enough to stream the fumes directly out of the cabin.

"Jesus H. Christ" the pilot said, "Who dropped the mother of all dookies in my ride?".

Snake suddenly felt a surge of panic deep within his core. It wasn't as if being exposed as the demon farter would cause him any lasting grief, but deep down Snake was a very prideful man, and so in the heat of the moment as a knee jerk reaction he pointed his finger squarely in Quiet's direction.

"Damn, sugar tits!" the pilot hooted, "did y'all eat shit for breakfast? That there is one hell of a booty bomb!".

The pilot let out grizzley southern laugh, almost dropping his crack pipe as it slid out from between his dry bearded lips. He caught it in his hand with a sly motion, as if he had planned it all along, and reached it out into the cabin.

"Y'all want a hoot?" he said with a grin, "Its the good shit!".

Quiet's expression was unreadable as she stood from her seat. She gave Snake only a passing glance as she walked by him, but he couldn't take his eyes off of her, partly due to fear, but mainly due to his morbid curiosity as to what she was about to do next. She was massively unpredictable. To Snake's surprise, she took the pipe from the pilot's outstretched hand, but she didn't take a hit from it.

Snake looked on in horror as she snapped off the end of the glass pipe and jammed it into the pilot's shoulder like a shiv, the still boiling substance within seeping into the deep wound causing the southern trash pilot to let out a screech unlike anything Snake had ever heard before, and he had heard many screams. Before the pilot could recover, Quiet twisted the pipe around and slowly pulled it out of his flesh, only to move around to his front and jam it into his scrotum, causing a violant shower of blood and semen. The pilot let out no more screams, he simply keeled over in his seat. Whether or not he was dead or simply passed out from the pain and blood loss, Snake couldn't say. Quiet pushed the unresponsive man aside, covered head to toe in red and white stains. She steadied the helicoptor and continued on course to their destination.

Snake was borderline catatonic for the remainder of the trip, only coming back to reality as he became aware of a strange sensation below his belt. _What was this feeling_ Snake thought to himself. _Was it arousal? Panic? No_. As he came to his senses, he knew exactly what he was feeling. He was feeling the repulsive sloshing of the liquid brown shit within his pants. Suddenly, alarms echoed through the tight cabin, causing Snake to instinctively jump to his feet, forgetting the discusting mess within his drawers. The cockpit was empty, Quiet and the probably dead pilot were gone. Snake lookout out the window and saw two chutes on their way down to the ground. It was likely that Quiet had signaled him to disembark, but he had missed it due to the shock of what had transpired. Snake dove for the remaining chute under his seat which was now stained light brown. He buckled himself into the chute, trying his best to keep balance as the out of control coptor shook. He slid open the door on the chopper's left side and jumped without looking back. During his speedy decent, he saw a large facility sticking out from the trees in the distance, the mysterious organization's name printed on the structure's side in large red letters. KONAMI. The rest of the way down, only one thing was going through Snake's mind; " _what the fuck have I gotten myself into?_ ".

 _To be continued..._


End file.
